Friday, February 27

I used to throw all my homework behind the dresser

"They started giving us homework in grade school. It may have only been to color a picture, but it was still homework.

I used to throw all my homework behind the dresser.

I am opposed to homework for the sake of homework."

Truer words could never have been someone under the age of 10.

Yes those are the words of Daniel. Lets hope that doesn't rub off on Alice and future progeny. {I on the other hand don't remember homework until at least middle school. Maybe its because I was fast enough at things I could get stuff done during the day.}


So I started some seeds about a week ago. I started the tomato seeds in toilet paper rolls and potting mix, and some lettuce seeds in a 18 hole egg carton flat.

Today I saw sprouts!

I have about 20 lettuce sprouts. I don't know what kind of lettuce though cause I got the fancy looking 'salad' mix. It has 4 or 5 types of salad seeds in the pot. Also, I bought two packages because I was swindled by the names on the package. You see the fancy colorful lettuce mix is exactly the same as the basic salad mix. Only the fancy salad mix has a higher ratio of the funky looking lettuces. You know, the ones that look like you stole leaves from a tree.

Only bad note. The tomato seeds may have been a wash. You see, I over watered and I am growing mold. I have no sprouts yet, so I don't know if I should give them another week to show their faces, or pitch the whole flat. Anyone know?

Oh yeah, and I am on strike from email. I don't usually check it over the weekend, and I haven't checked it in two days. I will either erase everything, or continue ignoring it until I have an insane amount of new messages and buckle down. I can't decide. Couple that with the phone issues where calls to the old phone number are getting forwarded to the point that the phone will ring once, but if I pick up it gives me a dial tone. I have about 4 people I should call back. If only windows media player would open so I could listen to the voice mail.

Thursday, February 26

Tips for a better Life

First off, I feel much better today. After a couple of trips to the bathroom before Alice woke up, I decided to shower.

There is nothing like a hot shower after being sick for a day. Try it, it helps.

Of course, I had just turned on the water and got in when I hear a baby in the hallway. I pulled open the curtain and considered getting out, but man, I wanted a shower. I did get Alice to come into the bathroom and shut the door. Even though she hasn't tried to go down the stairs, I don't want her first suicide attempt to be while I am naked, wet and soapy. Of course, Alice had just woken up and didn't want to just be inthe bathroom, she wanted in the tub. So I pulled her in, stripped her and held her while I washed my hair. {FYI becoming a mom gives you the magical power to hold a baby take a shower and wash your hair simultaneously. Its a fact.}

So here is the list of accomplishments for the day:
1. Not going to the RR since we came downstairs. {I doped up on loperamide, and we are at 4 hours and counting}
2. Filling and starting the dishwasher. (I had Daniel empty it yesterday. The clean ones had been in there for almost a week. Sad, I know.)
3. I changed the baby's diaper (lucky me no poo!)
4. While getting a diaper from upstairs I realized I had cleaned the bathroom sink. Yes all the things on the counter got moved to the back of the toilet. No I didn't put the cleaner away. Still, it looks much better.
5. Made a new budget using new (and fabulous I might add) MS Excel. In fact, it was Excel that motivated me to write a blog post. One of the templates you can use is the Loan Amortization. Might I say it makes paying off a student loan (or any loan really) exciting. I can enter $5 or $50 in the optional extra payment area and it makes a new amoritization chart.

So my advice for the day is: Get Sick.

You will feel horrid for a while, but getting better makes you remember what its like to not be confined to a water closet. And maybe it will motivate you to get some of the cleaning done. I typically clean on Mondays, but Alice was feeling bad, then I got nasty-itis so everything went by the side. Today I might even vacuum. {I had better since Alice dumped some trail mix on the floor and picked out everything but the raisin. A woman after my own heart.}

Tuesday, February 24


I have literally been in the toilet all day. It started when I tried getting out of bed. I mostly made it to the toilet. I then changed the baby and came downstairs so I could turn on the laptop and turn on the phone and try and set up tommorow's visiting teaching. Melissa still hasn't answered her phone, and I know she just had a baby so I understand if she's sleeping at all hours of the day and night.

SO its been over 7 hours of staring into a bucket while sitting on a toilet or staring into a toilet. Oh man do I HOPE this is a 24 hour thing.

The house is already a wreck because Alice has been teething and whiney all week. Though maybe she had what I have. Poor kid, no wonder she just wanted held and nursed.

Unfortunately that means we still have to teethe. Darn.

Alice never got dressed. A t-shirt and a diaper is enough.

The diaper is poopy, and I called Daniel to get him to come home early. I will not be able to handle that smell since I already am wanting to puke up my guts.

I have ran to the bathroom twice while writing this. Alice wants me to play ball with her. At least I can throw it and she will fetch and be happy.

I am too tired to write anything else. Lets hope this doesnt' last beyond today. I feel horrid. Not even soda and crackers work. The toast tasted good, but the crazy pressure in the gut didn't feel good. Grapes were a bad idea too.

Kansans Getting Fit

There is a program that is run by KState that has people sign up in groups of 6 to walk across the state of Kansas (423 miles) in 2 months. If one person did it, its about 7 miles a day for 60 days.

I think I might do it. I have done, 2+ miles 5 days a week has done nothing in the last couple of weeks. Ok, its done something. I can now see the veins on my arms really well. Its just not the effect I am looking for.

Who likes to ChaCha?

The subtitle to this would be, ChaCha has eaten my brain or at least my soul.

1. When leaving comments on people's blogs or writing emails I have to mentally stop myself from writing "ChaCha on!" or "ChaCha again!" or something else about ChaCha.

2. I get emails several times a day saying they are busy and want help.

3. I check my email after getting multiple emails and feel like I should sign in and just answer a few questions, even if I don't want to.

4. They have a new pay system where instead of having to do 200+ questions to get more than 10 cents a question pay rates are based on category.

5. Now that the new system is in place, I do almost 200 a week. (Before it was in place it was more like 50.)

6. They are hiring more people and I have to wonder if that means I will stop getting questions constantly.

7. I remember that my "Wow" rating is always about 95% and usually really close to 100% so I get a high priority status.

8. Instead of answering ChaCha questions, I am writing a blog post.

And you all thought I was going to say I am obsessed. Clearly I can spend valuable baby napping time to post in the blog. I am not that obsessed. But it is sort of addicting. Of course I will be glad when they hire new people. When it really is overwhelmingly busy your categorical choices are ignored and you get any old question. I have no problem reporting questions as "abuse" when they have multiple swear words and are nasty, but it counts against my overall percentage. Its dumb like that. Also, you don't get a preview of the questions, it just says a new question is available.

I know its like 9am, but the laptop's clock has not updated since 7:31 when we got up. As predicted, Daniel (who was LATE) went to work, Alice (who should have been sleeping woke up) and I am sitting on the couch with her while she sleeps more. It wouldn't be so bad if I thought I could leave the room, but lets face it I am The Bringer of Boobs and she is the Smeller of Boobs. We cannot be separated.

P.S. Anyone that actually wants to learn random info and answer questions in your spare time, ChaCha is hiring. The questions pay 10-22 cents each depending on category, and they also like to give out cash incentives on historically busy days. I have never got one of those. In fact, in the last 4 months I haven't even made $100. But thats because when I first started it was REALLY slow. And, they didn't have a priority system so it didn't really matter if I answered questions well or not. Soon, I will have $100 and an request a payment check.

That will cover my "oh crap" moment where I paid off the $900 credit card balance with my bank account that had about $100 in it. I didn't even consider that I had more than one account set up for payments. Darn credit card I have had since before getting married. Darn Douglas COunty Bank that sends me info that I tried to pay $900 out of an account that has $100 in it 2 weeks after the credit card said the payment posted. I need to close out that account. I can open a savings account somewhere else. Thats all I use that account for anyway really. Its just money that was mine before we got married. It used to be bigger, but I buy things every once in a while slowly decreasing the amount while never replenishing it. Wow, I got distracted. Post already woman.

Sunday, February 22

What do you do when a limited warrenty expires?

Daniel was getting the crockpot ready for dinner, and the plastic handle came off in his hand.

The handle (to the lid) had come off a few weeks ago when I lifted the lid on the hot crockpot, but once it cooled some it stayed on.

I looked to see the price of a replacement lid, and shocker Rival doesn't sell them. They don't sell the handle, or the lid, or any replacement parts.

SO what is one to do? Here are some solutions I have found online.

1. Look for a lid at a thrift store. This isn't really an option, as we now have one (crappy and overpriced) thrift store in town. When a goodwill charges $7 for Walmart brand jeans you know they are overpriced. Also, I have only seen a Crockpot there once or twice. They were avacado green and orange and didn't have lids. So that option is pretty much out for me. Also, I don't want to have to drive 30min or so round trip for nothing.

2. Replace the plastic lid with a drawer pull from HomeDepot. I admit I might consider this. Granted a lid made for a curved front drawer is not going to be heat resistant, but you can buy washers that are heat resistant. And its not like the lid itself is broken.

3. Buy a new one, same model, and return the broken lid to the store. I know this is ethically wrong, but so does selling a product that breaks like this. I mean, I rarely rarely use my crockpot. Maybe 2 times a month on average. We have only had the crockpot since Alice had her baby blessing.

Oh wait maybe its been less than a year. Alice was blessed in March.

That makes this even more annoying. Even better. The instructions on the website say we have to call a customer service number to get an address to mail the pot to. Bah.

I don't know if I like Rival any more.

Friday, February 20

Magic Jack is punkish.

I don't know if the problem has to do with our changing our phone number and me never remembering it so I call our old number...

Yesterday only one of my breaks was I able to talk to Rebecca. The first one I could hear her, but she couldn't hear me.

Now, half the time I don't even hear it ring. I don't hear anything. Just silence. I have no idea what's going on. When I tried to call during my first break every time I got a message saying "The person at extension (whatever our number is) is not available at this time."


On a side note though, Rebecca, I really doubt I'll be here until 7 tonight. Everyone came today. And I mean lots of people. So... it's not like I'm needed.

Thursday, February 19

A Wail of a Tale

Alice was helping me carry something to the kitchen. OK lets be honest, I was distracting her so I could go to the bathroom. Silly me gave her something breakable to carry.

What do you get if you mix one freshly changed baby, a ceramic bowl and a tile floor?

Well, at least the diaper stayed on. Literally her second step onto the tile the bowl went down and shattered. I heard while unbuttoning my pants and ran into the kitchen hoping it had not shattered.

The lack of a bowl confirmed my ears' verdict.

The bowl was no more. I moved the baby into a carpeted room and picked up the 3 larger pieces I saw while getting the broom and sweeping the kitchen and hall.

After I had did the majority of the damage control the baby was wandering around after me looking for pieces of bowl to pick up. In front of the dishwasher she found one.

In front of the dishwasher, people.

The bowl was dropped in the hallway entering the kitchen. I swept the rest of the room.

Then I finally went to the bathroom while the baby climbed onto her potty chair to stand inside the place where poo goes and watch me. (No she hasn't use it, and no she won't sit on it proper, but at least she thinks she should be on it. Though the feet inside the poo pot aren't ideal. Especially once its used as a poo pot.)

Wahoo. An audience while I go potty. Oh well, at least she won't find the inevitable small shard I missed and manage to step on it and leave blood between there and the carpet.

Then I saw it. On the top of her foot.

A small cut, barely bleeding.

I put on a bandage and she proceeded to WAIL WAIL WAIL. I thought she must have other injuries and practically undressed her while changing her once again wet diaper. Nothing visable.

OK, fine nurse. It will calm you, right?


So very wrong.

Nursing = bigger W A I L

Imagine child has swallowed a small piece of broken bowl and is tearing up her insides.

Begin panic.

Consider calling Daniel at work.

Realize the child is trying to take the bandaid off her foot.

Take bandaid off.

Wailing ends.

Child acts fine.

Moral of the story?
A. Bandaids are evil and will cause great great pain.
B. Tiny cuts are meant to be seen.
C. An upset baby will wail to get her way.
D. Never have children.

I can't decide which answer it is, or if there are more than one. I am pretty sure D isn't the answer, but considering we are also teething and suck at napping or not being cranky, it might be.

Wednesday, February 18

Rude Alarm Clock!

I don't know what happened this morning but for some reason I ended up getting up 2 hours earlier than I thought. After I got to the car and found out what time it was I had to decide that I could probably actually eat breakfast at home and no longer had to hurry to work.

Today heralds the more "interesting" part of training. This is the day where we split off from the other training class and start doing phone training. This will be interesting because it sounds like this is going to be almost exclusively me training them on something I have next to no experience on...

To be fair though, this original part of training is sort of similar. We were training everyone to do a process that I was trained on late 2007 and... haven't really done since. Got to love the need to train. I was planning on being at work at 7 to get myself ready but I really don't feel a need to be there at 5:30 so I'm getting ready and then I'll say bye bye to Rebecca again. Rude alarm clock.

Monday, February 16

When does individuality equal selfishness?

I just read an article about the 'dummy mummy.' You know, the women that have young children, and heaven-forbid talk to people about it. The writer says that women have become obsessed with motherhood.

I think she is wrong. I think her friends appear to be obsessed to her, but to anyone else they are normal.

Case in point? She is 39. Maybe she never plans to get pregnant and have a baby, and thats her choice, but for real. How can you, at that age, not expect your friends to all be having kids. I mean lets face it, menopause is around the corner. As you age your feti are more likely to have a whole list of disabilities and complications. Not to mention you will have more problems being pregnant.

I can understand not wanting to see pregnancy and motherhood on every corner, but if someone feells comfortable enough with me to tell me about thier OB/GYN trip I don't ridicule them. Especially in a magazine. Of course, the author is off the hook. The Mummy Dummy won't be reading a magazine. She is too busy looking at the designer baby strollers and getting woke up at 3am by a crying child. Yes, she is too busy to read an article by a woman she shared information that is usually only shared with the down-there doctor and maybe the spouse.

She attacks the readers that may just be surprised that she is so against ANYONE enjoying motherhood by saying that in 2009 we should stop opressing her womanly rights to not have a baby.

Someone that gives the excuse that there are too many books she needs to read before she wants to have kids shouldn't have children. I assumed she was not married when I started reading the article, but no. She just prefers children to be like rental videos. You hang onto them for a while and return them, If you enjoyed the movie you might rent it again, but if your neighbor/sister/cousin owns you can just borrow it when you feel like it.

I may think the decision to not have children is selfish, but I wouldn't judge her on that. I judge the fact that she cares more about herself than her friends. I am surprised she calls them friends at all. And the phone is ringing and waking the baby. ciao!

More Rice Milk tests!

So this one is for you Brooke. Don't use this recipe, as I will explain that I think it could be better. But, I am still working on the rice milk thing.

I couldn't get myself to spend almost $4 on a box of rice milk to see what it tasted like, so my flavoring choices might gross you all out.

2 c cooked rice (I added a pinch of salt but no butter when cooking it)
2 c warm water

Blend this stuff for a while. Watch the lid if the water is really hot as it might try to pop off. The goo will be REALLY thick.

Add 1 tsp vanilla, and 1 Tbs unsulphurated molasses (I have honey, but I thought molasses would taste better as I did't like the taste of honey in the uncooked rice version.)

Then you thin out the stuff to be drinkable. I added 2 more cups of water and it was still pretty thick. It also thickens when it cools. We only have a 5 cup blender because it fits under the cupboards on the counter, and thats important, so I think I should use way way less rice. I also think that next time I cook rice, I will put butter in it.

Also, I need to try brown rice. I sent 4 lbs of it home with my sister because Daniel thinks its yucky. I have a couple of cups cooked and in the freezer though, so I will try using that. It makes me a little sad since I was hoping to make this a food storage recipe, and lets face it a 6 month shelf life isn't long enough for food storage. White rice lasts 10 years if sealed. Thats a huge difference.

note to self: try the uncooked version with brown rice.
look for real maple syrup to use as a sweetener (people say its good)
try using a tablespoon worth of rice in the blender on thus instead of a huge amount.

Sometimes my notes to me make sense.

Oh, and another couple got called as Webelos leaders. Sweet! That means the cub scouts can actually split up into groups and (hopefully) get some badges earned. We must remember to call our one Wolf and remind him to bring his book. Then we can know what to teach. Also I gotta take some 'don't be a pedophile' training online for the boy scouts. So does Daniel.

I also need to get over my strange medical issues. I keep putting off callign the doctor because 1. I hope its a fluke and 2. I am afraid it might be serious. Nothing like dread to keep me from seeking medical attention. Of course after reading wrong not going sounds worse.

Saturday, February 14

New Job Busy Busy

So... I got that new gig that I was talking about. Problem is that the first week I was being trained (and preparing for a training class)... and now the second week I'm training for 8 hours a day and still expected to do other things.

This means I cannot not do over time. :-O This week I have worked almost 8 hours of over time... and honestly I kinda of should really go in today in order to catch up on stuff I should have already finished...

Rebecca is not happy. I is tired. Rebecca is awake. I is going to her.

Wednesday, February 11

Baby Signs

Alice has a baby sign. Only one. I suppose its a good thing.

You see, she says mom and points at her chest with both hands. You know, indicating boobs.

It was cute at first.

Now she thinks she can get them if she asks.

If I ignore her she fetches the boppy. Punk.

Sunday, February 8

Random conversation and ANOTHER calling!

So Daniel took a message this morning and we went to church early for me to get calling #2. Anyone else see the irony here? In the student ward Daniel and I shared a few callings and I had some of my own. New ward? 2nd week there we get a shared calling (cub scouts) and this week I get a calling (LINK coordinator).

FYI, the person that did it in December had a whole book as well as forms made up and everything coordinated quite well. I will just spend a day or so calling people to remind what they signed up for, and then a day of hauling food downtown and making sure the volunteers make it. Nice part: it only happens 4 times a year.

Here is the random conversation:

Daniel: Sometimes its fun to say things that aren't at all true about Obama.

So here are a list of things that are NOT true that its fun to say about Obama.
Alice, Obama wants you to pay for college.
Obama wants everyone to be allergic to gluten. (that one might be true)
Obama wants to destroy all the wheat in the USA.
Obama makes everyone call him black.
If I play more Kingdom Hearts will you cheat for me? (oops that's not obama related)

Rebecca: If Obama were a character on Kingdom hearts who would he be? King Mickey?
Daniel: Maybe Maleficnet?
Rebecca: Maleficent!? (laughing)
Daniel: Why are you so surprised? I would think it would be true.
Rebecca (silence while typing conversation)
Alice: (Putting a block on mommy's cleavage)
Daniel: I just said Maleficent because King Mickey is a good guy and Obama might not be.
Rebecca: Daniel is an expert on Mickey Mouse.
Daniel: Of course I am.

I got distracted. I was going to google stuff about obama, and if you type in 'is obama' in the search bar the first suggestion is 'is obama the antichrist?' So I decided to see what are people's reasons to call him the antichrist. Most of them are dumb, but there are some funny videos. Only the videos weren't meant to be funny. Thats probably the funniest part. So yeah. We are eating pizza for dinner, and so have to smell the oven.

Tuesday, February 3

Allergies or a persistant cold, you decide

So Alice still has an evil cold. I have used a thing of tissues, plus a couple of rolls of TP wiping her nose. Drip, drip drip. Its been 3 weeks for her.

Its pretty obnoxious.

Obnoxious enough that I have started some research into milk allergies. My family tree runs rampant with allergies. In fact, we never had cow milk growing up thanks to an allergy to the milk protein. Also known as Whey. They boys in the family even got tested and had whole lists of things they were allergic to (eggs was another one, good old eggs). Its no wonder we ate lots of organ meats (kidney liver tongue, even heart.) If you can imagine a random and possibly 3rd world food, we tried it. Though honestly most countries other than the US eat a lot more of those things. Take Haggis or meat pies. Did you know you can't even make traditional Haggis in the US unless you slaughter your own sheep? Its illegal to buy or sell sheep lung. Thats a total aside that really has nothingto do with this post.

I think Alice might have the family allergy. It explains why she got sick enough to refuse to eat (except nursing) and seemed to be getting better. Is also explains why once we got her to eat again, she got the runs. Even if its not a familiar thing, its very common for young kids to be allergic to cow milk. So we are gonna get a little crunchy on you guys.

I am gonna try making rice milk. In fact I have some rice soaking. Rice milk is the same thing as Horchata [though horchata can be made with almonds or barley or really any grain]. Horchata is a sugary creamy vanilla delight served as a bit of summertime refreshment.

In our case it will be a test. We will find out if cutting milk and her Boost supplement (contains milk and soy) will be out as well. I guess we will try and see if carnation instant breakfast is the same...or even check out the organic aisles for some different kinds of milk free supplement stuff. Either way, we have been making way too much mucus, and we shall postpone the milk thing until she is 2 or possibly three. (I have read many kids grow out of it, so here's to hoping she does.) But, honestly if she doesn't I don't think it will kill us to switch to Rice milk. Especially if I make homemade. That stuff is practically free. More free than cow milk ever was.

P.S. I wrote this yesterday and got too distracted to finish. Note: You cannot make Rice Milk in a food processor. Especially one that's almost dead and barely shuts. The kitchen will be covered in 'rice milk.' It will taste way too sweet and not creamy at all. Perhaps the recipes that call for cooked rice are better? Perhaps I got over enthusiastic with the Honey? Either way, this will need experimentation.

Now You're Gonna Die!

So, I just wanted to tell everyone the thing that I find the oddest about my new job.

It's not that I have a week to learn how to answer phones in the call center and how to answer the phones when the other staff has questions to ask me, even though their training class is about 3 weeks long actually. It's not even that it sounds like I might have a lot to do... honestly the job is starting to seem more and more underwhelming. The single strangest thing about my new job is the person who is training me.

She is a work-aholic. There are lots of things that they sort of want us to get done that haven't been happening and still she manages to come in and work 10 hour days every day and things like that. I'm sure she is actually getting a lot done but I have no idea. The other thing about her that I actually do find odd... Eye contact. I think it has something to do with gender differences but I feel like she'll be explaining something to me and then suddenly she will turn and stare at me with such intensity that it feels like she's looking for weakness. I can't help but think she's thinking something like... if you flinch or act hesitant I will destroy you!

I'd assume that that is spot on, but it really wouldn't make any sense. That's what I get for actually being a guy... we're definitely the minority in my office... From what I'm told though I will soon discover that she does so much work that I'm going to have to work just as much in order to fill her shoes... how nifty. Anyway, I should go. Cheers.