I am sick of dealing with Alice today. She is just too good at figuring things out.
This week she learned how to open the fridge door. Yes I did vacuum up an entire POUND of shredded cheese from the just vacuumed living room floor. So I had Daniel stop at Walmrt on his way home from class yesterday to get a fridge lock It needs 24 hours to "cure" which means when she put her weight into it, she pulled the whole thing off this morning.
And she made scrambled eggs. All. over. the. carpet. Of course, she was kind enough to bring the bowl of what she didn't dump all over the living room carpet upstairs to me while I was feeding Thomas.
Did I mention that we just cleaned the carpet a million times in the living room because the house flooded? Well, now it needs cleaned again.
I put her down for a nap after Thomas had a complete meltdown (because she REFUSES to let him sleep...ever...never ever). She came out 30 minutes later after she took off the doorknob safety cover. Thomas had just fallen asleep. She woke him up by being loud. And she had no diaper.
I decided if she can take her diaper off, she can wear training pants. So I put a pair on her. As I pulled the pants in her, I smelled it. The rank odor that I knew was poo.
Washcloths and scrubbing of the poo and stripping of the poopy clothes. Training pants pulled up. Daniel walks in just as I am washing my hands. He got to clean up her room. (except for the poo on the carpet that needs to be steam cleaned).
Fast forward to this evening. Daniel went to Cub Scouts (lucky guy) and I stuck her in the tub. Then I start nursing Thomas who was at that time SCREAMING at the top of his lungs because he was exhausted. And what happens just as he is falling asleep? I see her in the mirror holding the only lipstick I own. A frickking $20 one at that.
Put Thomas down, Thomas begins wailing. Try to grab lipstick, Alice hides under my bed. Finally get her out and see she is covered in lipstick. As is the carpet. The lipstick is destroyed and she is dirtier than when she got in the bath.
So I get several wash cloths and scrub her down, put a diaper and pajamas on her and stick her in bed. When I did this I made sure to fix her curtain so it was dark and put the doorknob lock back on.
I then returned to Thomas wailing. Only to step in a blob of lipstick on the carpet. Within 3 minutes of me starting to nurse him, she was in the hall again.
So Thomas will be up every frickking 2 hours all night...again...because he is too interested in the demon child to sleep in the day. Or the demon child finds a harmonica. Or a recorder. Or her lungs.
Its only Wednesday. I still have a million things to do today before I can get to things I WANT to do. I don't know if I am glad we have a carpet cleaner or pissed that every carpeted room in the house needs cleaned.