23 Minutes

the time it takes to change Alice's nasty poopy diaper.

23 seconds. - The time it takes her to climb onto Thomas's FACE with her stinky poopy butt. Why she feels she needs to kneel on his head is beyond me. I can understand her covering his face with a pillow when he cries since it makes the noise quiet. But, standing or kneeling on a head? What is wrong with the girl?

Just when I thought things were leveling out after bringing an attention grabbing baby into the house, Alice decides to play power struggle with me.

While filled with orange scented feces. I hate feces.

The diapers that should have been done washing, put feces on me when I started getting them to go into the dryer.

Thomas took a poo the moment I put a clean diaper on him.

Luckily, no one has been throwing poo...except me. The diaper missed the pail.

And to think, until about 2 pm, things were looking pretty up. I did dishes. I thought I had the diapers clean. I stepped on glass in the kitchen (last night Alice decided Pyrex was for toddlers...let's just say its not). I searched for the broom. I found the broom. I swept the kitchen. I discovered the freezer door open because someone put the pail of ice cream in there instead of the deep freeze. I even picked up Alice's toys and replaced the trash bag in the can Daniel left empty.

All that, and I can't manage to change an Alice diaper without letting Thomas cry for 20 minutes while I chase her and pin her onto the floor with my leg. I left her watching Ice Age. The library's DVD rentals are one small moment of relief.