Saturday, February 6

Things I didn't know about having a kid

(and to think this is my second. How much of a haze was I in with Alice?)

- While breastfeeding, I reek. Perhaps its a physiological response so the baby will always know mom is near, but DANG I am stinky.

- The all natural deodorant really does help stop the smell. Too bad it lets the sweat flow.

- Onions + me = oh dear stinky! In several ways. All recipes including onions will now need to be modified so I can stand to be in the same room as myself.

- Pre-fold cloth diapers really are the way to go with an infant. I just thought they were the cheap option. Nope, they stain less, fit better, and make an excellent burp cloth. If I could stand a toddler in something that didn't velcro on, I might only use the cheapo diapers.

- I really don't need naps. Yes, everyone says sleep when the baby sleeps, but that's impossible with a toddler that refuses to nap. I do however go to bed (and lately even sleep) around 7pm. And yet I write 3am blog posts.

- An infant will always choose 3am as the ideal time to have an active period. Perhaps its because the demonic toddler attacks during the day. I am just waiting for him to wet a diaper so he will eat again and go to sleep. Gotta make room for more.

- Sometimes violence is the answer. But before you call CPS on me, the real answer is a nap, or removal from the situation.

- Infants are more durable than they appear. Or let's all pray that's true. Cause with as many times as Alice as (sadly, literally) danced on Thomas' head with her feet I will not be surprised if he has brain damage.

- You can have a heavy baby that isn't fat. Don't believe me? I have an 11 lb kid who has abs of steel.

- Daniel will never get sprayed with explosive poo / pee showers while changing a baby. I have been showered a few times by Thomas, and Alice up and shot poo across the room at me once when I was changing her. Daniel thought the flying poo incident was hilarious. I am waiting for justice.

- Speaking of poo, having a kid will make bowel habits an oft visited topic. And its not just the baby's bowels that get attention (though he has started having phantom poo, so its harder to know when to change him immediately)

- Some babies are just easy. Its too bad they have siblings that are not.

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