Alice is sick. Sick enough that yesterday was spent listening to her cry. Try to nurse her, she cries. Hold her, she cries. Don't hold her, she wails.
The things you don't learn about before you have a kid.
I figure I am now an expert at using a nose aspirator. Lucky!
So here is the way to do it.
1. Send husband to store for TP and bread. It should occur at 10pm, or later if this is gonna work.
2. Realize the kid has been screaming your ear off all day because her nose is stuff and she can't breathe.
3. Send husband back to store with list of baby related things.
4. Open saline solution bottle and lose lid.
5. Manhandle the child until she is tilted head back. Squirt in some saline solution. (Or at least be surprised it dribbles on its own, and get her in the eye.)
6. Squeeze the funky blue bulb. Suck out some snot.
6. Repeat at 4am, 8am, 10am, 1pm. And as needed. Also, wear clothing that can handle snot spots. You will be covered. Oh and also notice a fever around midnight, and give her some tylenol. It will help.
This has been my day. How was yours?